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A state trooper pulled a car and walked up to the drivers door and asked for drivers license. Suddenly the patrolman pulled his night stick and goes whap!,across the drivers head. He asked, What YA Do that for? The trooper said your taking too long I don't have all day.The trooper then asked for the registration card. Same thing happens, WHAP! across the head, I told you I don't have all day. The Patrolman then walked around the rear of the car to the passenger side. The passenger rolled down the window and WHAP! The trooper popped him. What YA Do That FOR? Because I knew soon as I got in my car you was going to say, I wish that S.O.B. would have hit me like that. ____________________________________________________
A STATE trooper pulled a man over and told him, I stopped you to tell you your wife fell out of your car about a mile back. The man said THANK GOD! I thought I had gone deaf.


A man was in a terrible barroom fight and was in the hospital for his injuries. A nurse explained he would have to be fed from the enema procedure. She showed his friend how to do it and said he wouldn't be as embarased. His friend said I know your jaw is wired shut and your lips are swollen but you got to eat. He got out the hot water bottle and said I guess I'll start with a cup of coffee.He sucked it in the bottle and squirted it up his rear. The injured man goes UMM,UMM, UMM, his friend says oh God is it too hot? He grabbed his pen and paper and wrote HELL NO ITS TOO SWEET.



Two old men were fishing in their boat. While sitting in a cove they could still see the road and bridge crossing the lake. A funeral procession passed over the bridge and one of the old men stood,removed his hat and placed it over his heart.After it passed by the old man put his hat back on and sat back down in the boat. His friend said you know, that was very respectful what you just did. The other old man said well, it was the least I could do. I been married to her for 47 years.