25 Best Country Songs of all Time 

25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
23. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
22. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
21. I Bought A Car From A Guy Who Stole My Girl, But It Don't Run So
We're Even
20. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
19. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
18. I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
17. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
16. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
15. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
14. I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin' On My Back And Cryin' Over You
13. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
12. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
11. Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
10. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love You
9. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
8. Please Bypass This Heart
7. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
6. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
5. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
4. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
3. She's Actin' Single and I'm Drinkin' Doubles
2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer

And the number 1 favorite country song is:
1. I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women,
But I've Sure Woke Up With A Few

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR LOVER SAYS SHE HAS A HEADACHE
What to do when your Lover says she has a headache:
The husband emerged from the bathroom naked with a
 hard on and was climbing
into bed when his wife complained, as usual, "I
 have a headache."

"Perfect" her husband said. "I was just in the
 bathroom powdering my pecker
with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a
 suppository,it's up to you.

Deep South Birth Control


Deep South BIRTH CONTROL
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough 
(they could not afford a larger
double wide).
So, the husband went to his doctor (who also
treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin
didn't want to have anymore children.
The doctor told him that there was a
procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor 
instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in 
Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and 
count to 10.

The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be
the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry
bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." So, the couple drove 
to Georgia to get a second opinion.

The Georgia physician was just about to tell them
about the procedure for a vasectomy when he
noticed that they were fro! m Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go 
home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his 
ear and count to 10.

Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, 
lit a cherry bomb and put it in a
beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to
count. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . .", at which point he paused, placed the beer can 
between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand....
Also works in Tennessee