GOLF JOKES 
A man and his wife were playing 18 holes, when he sliced one from the tee back 
behind a storage barn. He went to his ball and started to hit out from behind 
the barn when his wife said wait a minute. There is a door in front and one in 
back, if I open both doors I think you get a clear shot to the hole. He agreed 
and after opening the doors he gave it a whack. The ball hit a wooden crossbeam 
and bounced back and hit his wife in the head, killing her instantly. One year 
later the man was back playing golf when the same thing happened again. His 
friend playing with him said wait a minute. If I open both doors you have a 
clear shot to the hole. He said, HELL NO, I tried that a year ago and took a 
seven. 
A gent asked a friend in the clubhouse how his round was. He said you wouldn't 
believe it, Worse golf I ever played. Also, my neighbor Jake was playing with me 
and on the third hole he dropped dead with a heart attack. The gent said yea, 
sounds like you did have a rough one. The friend said yea, all day long, hit the 
ball and drag Jake, hit the ball and drag Jake. 



Four women golfers were playing on hole 14 when one noticed a figure heading 
quickly towards them. As it got closer to them they realized it was a male 
streaker without a stitch on. He passed as they were putting and one lady 
thought she recognized him. Wasn't that Dick Green? One of the other ladies said 
no, I think that was a reflection from the grass. 



Two buddies were playing a round when one sliced his ball off in the woods. He 
went in to hunt his ball and was bitten by a poison snake on his tallywhacker. 
He told his buddy, run across the course and find a doctor, surely there is one 
here. When you find one tell him I've been bitten by a poison snake and find out 
what to do. He ran halfway across the course, finally finding a doctor. The 
doctor said the only thing that can save him is for you to slice the bite wound 
and suck out the poison, otherwise he has about 15 minutes to live. He ran back 
across the course and his partner asked, did you find one? He said yea. The sick 
man asked what did he say? He replied, your ass is a goner.