A blind man was crossing a four lane street with lots of traffic. His seeing eye dog led him right out in the traffic nearly getting him ran over. As he finally got across he pulled a treat out for the dog, a man watching the whole thing said, I don't think he deserves a treat, he nearly got you killed. The blind man said, I'm Just doing this so I can find his head, then I know which end to kick.

A man came in a bar, picked up his leashed dog and started slinging him around and around. A man sitting at the bar asked the guy sitting next to him, what in the heck is he doing? The guy said Oh, that's old Jake, He's blind, he's just having a look around.

A man was demonstrating his hunting dog's talents while trying to sell the dog to a friend. The dog was running the woods and you could hear him far away, YIP! YIP! BARK! BARK! YIP! YIP! Suddenly you couldn't hear the dog anymore. The dog owner's friend said, lost the trail, just what I figured.

The owner said no, you don't understand. Now he's going across POSTED land.

A man goes into a bar with his dog and after a few minutes he tells the guy next to him, guess what? My dog knows how to give head. The man said, no I don't believe that. The dogs owner said I bet you $20 he can do it. He said ok it's a bet. He tells the man to pull it out and gives the dog the command. DO IT, Go On and Do it, the dog just sat there. Finally as he dropped to his knee's he said, now Damn-it ROVER I aint going to show you how to do this but one more damn time. ____________________________________________________________

What does a hooker and a dog have in common?

They both do tricks for food.

Why is it that a dog belongs to the man until he shits in the house, Then he says hey honey, your dog used it in here.

I had a dog once, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't house break him. I started, every time he used it in the house, I would rub his nose in it and through him out the window. Finally I taught him. He would use it in the house, then jump out the window himself.

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