How can you tell when a Gordon fan is going to say something intelligent? He starts out with Earnhardt once said.

Three surgeons were arguing about who was the best surgeon.

The first said, "I reattached a severed arm on a man who went on to

become one of the best pitchers in the Major League.The second said,

I reattached a severed leg on a man who went on to become one of the best

Place kickers in the NFL.The third surgeon said, "I once stitched

a mustache to an asshole and he went on to become a seven time

Winston Cup Champion!"

A little boy ran away from home and a cop saw him and said "Hey little boy,

what are you doing?" The little boy said"I'm running away from home."

The cop asked him "Why are you doing that?" The little boy replied

"Because my dad beats me." The cops says "Oh, well get in the car

and I will take you to your mother's." And the little boy says "No, no!She

beats me too!" The cop says "Do you have an uncle?" "Yes but he beats me too",

replied the little boy. And the cop says "Get in the car and I'll take you to

your grandmother's then." The little boy says "No, no, no! My grandmother beats

me also." The cop says "Well little boy, is there anywhere I can take you where

nobody will beat you?" And the little boys says "Take me to live with Dale Earnhardt because he can't beat anybody."

Jeff Gordon was jogging. He slips on a damp bridge, hits his head, and falls into an icy river.

Three kids see it happen. They jump in and save him. When he comes to,he says,"Boys,

you saved Jeff Gordon. You each deserve a reward. You name it,and I'll give it to you."

The first kid says, "I'd like a ticket to Disneyland." Gordon says, "I'll take care of it personally."

The second boy says, "I'd like a pair of Nike Air Turbo's." Gordon says, "I'll buy them myself and give them

to you."The third kid says, "I'd like a wheelchair with a built-in stereo." Gordon says,

"I'll personally ... Wait a second, you're not handicapped." The kid says,"Iwill be when

my father finds out who I saved from drowning."

What do NASCAR and Monica Lewinsky's dress have in common? Dick Trickle.

mss">Q: Why did=20

Why did Dale Earnhardt break into a FORD dealership? He wanted

to see what the front of a Taurus looked like.

Did you know that Kyle Petty?s entire crew was arrested for drugs?

The cops found everything but speed.

Why are most pace cars Pontiac? So There will be one in the race.

Why doesn't Jimmy Spencer ever hit the wall? It doesn't have numbers on it.

Three Nascar Fans were on their way to a Race when one noticed a

foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped

and discovered a female dead body. Out of respect the Jarrett fan took off his hat

and placed it over face. The Martin fan took off his hat and placed it over on

her chest. Following their lead, the Jeff Gordon fan took his hat off

and placed it on her stomach. The police were called and when he arrived, the officer

conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up the #88 hat, replaced it,

and wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted up the #6 hat, replaced it, and

wrote down some notes. The officer then lifted the #24 hat, replaced it, then

lifted it again, replaced, lifted it a third time, replaced it. The Gordon fan

was getting upset and asked, "What are you, a pervert or something? You keep

lifting and looking and lifting and looking." The officer said, "No, I am just

surprised; normally when I look under a #24 hat, I find an asshole."

If Robert Pressley, Joe Nemechek and Kyle Petty were in a boat and the Boat Sinks,

 Who Would be saved? Half the cars in Sundays Race.

Webmasters Comment: ?Somebody tell Ned Jarrett to SHUT THE HELL UP When Dale Wins..?