TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'VE GONE TO A BAD CHIROPRACTOR

10. Rushes in late for appointment, still wearing his Burger King
    uniform.

 9. You have to push aside dirty dinner plates in order to lie down on
    the examination table

 8. Spends hours pushing toy cars up and down your back and making
    "vroom" sound

 7. You're fully clothed and he's naked

 6. Over and over, you hear crunching sounds followed by "uh-oh"

 5. While making adjustment, he pretends to pull a silver dollar out of
    your ass

 4. He throws in a complimentary rabies shot

 3. Hints that for an extra fifty bucks, he'll "straighten" something
    else

 2. Weeks later, you see a guy on the street selling videos of your
    visit

 1. When you walk, you make a wacky accordion sound