There was this little girl staring out her bedroom window, watching
two dogs screw in the street. In curiosity she called for her
father to explain what they were doing. Her father entered the room
and asked what was wrong. The girl then said, "Father what are those
two dogs doing ?" The father hesitantly replied, "Why, one of the
dogs got hurt, and the other is helping it to an animal hospital."
The girl jumped to her feet and said, "It's just like with humans,
Daddy, you try to help someone and you get fucked!"

A young man is visiting his future wife's parent's house for dinner.
Unfortunatly, he is not feeling too well, but he sits down for dinner
anyway. The family dog, Spot, takes a seat under him and they start
dinner. Well, the guy REALLY has to fart, so he lets out just a tiny
one. The girlfriend's mothers says, "Spot! No!". The guy thinks
this is really great, the dog will get blamed. He lets a little
bigger one this time. The mother says, "Spot!! No! Please!" in a
little harsher tone. The guy finally decides to really let one rip,
so he blasts away with a real long one. The mother yells, "Spot! Get
out of there before he shits on you!".

What is the perfect ten?
A woman about waist high with no teeth and
a flat head to rest your drink on!

Did you hear about the new song that Michael Jackson
and Boy George are working on?
It's called "I'll Beat It For You!"

One gay guy visited another in the hospital. "What did they do?" he
asked the man lying in the bed. "They removed my tonsils, pulled out
my teeth, and cut out my hemorrhoids." "My God," gasped the visitor.
"A complete hysterectomy!"